Another Co-Worker Story

I went to the Cubs/Rockies game with my team from work and after a few beers, our mail room man told us a story about his attempt to start a healthy lifestyle. He went into 24 hour fitness to sign up for a membership and they told him he was fat. Another co-worker leaned over two laps to say, "I hope you didn't pay for that advice". Of course not, why pay for that when she could tell you that for free.

Co-Worker

There are 10, count them 10 people in my office that are pregnant. So jokingly I told me boss, "ahh, hate to break it to you, but I'm pregnant (as a joke)" She replied in fear, "you better not be or I will get inside and scrape it out, ha ha, just kidding, but seriously, you better not be pregnant."  Good times, good times.

"The Ugly Truth"

I just got back from seeing the aforementioned movie with my friend Liz Cox, yes it is pronounced how you think it's pronounced, and it got me thinking and so I've decided to share....all apologies.

So the basic debate in the story is, does the guy want to marry the stripper/porn star or does he really care about who a girl is and do girls really want to marry the checklist or really fall in love. The truth is for the first time in my life is that I've started to ask myself this question, "what do I want?" Something most people are probably saying "dahhhhh" to and also maybe "aren't you dating someone?". Yes, you are correct. But isn't that what dating is? I just figured out what the purpose of dating is, besides procreation. I learn something new every year. This year is "How to Keep a Job".

Anyway, what is the purpose of putting together a list if you have no control over it. A checklist and falling in love are contradictory. We've all seen enough movies or chick flicks to know that. Besides it's not like all of those actors demonstrating how lasting relationships start actually stay married. Except for "Mark Harmon" and Pam Dawber. Best Hollywood Couple Ever! Until I break them up...he he. Great transition to my favorite TV Show, NCIS in which Mark Harmon is the star and really super hot for a gray haired man.

A couple of weekends ago I was waiting in the JFK airport for my Pork Ragu when I noticed none other than David McCallum, "Ducky" from my favorite TV show NCIS (check it out this fall - it's awesome). Some of you might remember him from his earlier days in U.N.C.L.E. Anyway, I took a large gulp of Valpolicella and walked over and introduced myself. I was so nervous. I told him I was a huge fan of NCIS and he replied, "I am too!" We sat and chatted a little bit, he was visiting his wife in NYC for her birthday and asked me what my travel plans were. I even told him that I had dressed up as Abbey Scuito, the forensic scientist on the show for my Halloween party and won first place (thanks friends). I think he was a little weirded out by that and so I didn't ask him for behind the scenes passes to taping. Darn it I should have. Then we parted ways and in the words of Stacey Hall, "I had a perm-a-grin." for the next week. Moral of the story: go up and introduce yourself.

Thanks for listening to my ramble!

Welcome!

For some of you, this may come as a surprise that I am starting a blog. Well, apparently some people think I'm funny and I should share my thoughts. So here I go.

First off, I should explain the title of my blog, Flatch Forgette. "Flatch" is a nickname I received as a gaseous young child growing up in the burbs of Chicago. I was up in Northern Wisconsin at Dairymen's Country Club, something I will explain in another blog. I was telling an embarrassing story of how I received a nice scar on my knee. Here's how that story goes:

"I was sitting in the hallway of a Holiday Inn in Rockford, Illinois with three girlfriends on my softball team, Katie P., Mo and Al. We were reliving the day of softball games preparing for the next day of games, when a very intoxicated man stumbled by and said 'excuse me boys'. Well at the ripe ole age of 12 (I have no idea how old we were) we thought this was hilarious. So funny, that I lost control of my bodily functions and let one rip real loud as a woman walked by. The woman came back and made the comment "that is disgusting". Well, everyone was cracking up now. In fact Mo went to hide behind the vending machine because she was trying to not to pee in her pants. Alison crossed her legs so she would not pee in her pants, I got up to run to the bathroom because I was going to pee in my pants and tripped and fell over alison legs and skinned my knee. The next day I slid home and reopened the wound. Spent a day in the hospital fighting the infection." Hence my scar. 

Well after I was done telling the story at a bonfire at Dairymen's in front of the entire Gallagher and Doyle families, I let one rip again. If it had been on purpose, it would have been beautiful delivery, but I'm not that smooth. Everyone at the bonfire started cracking up and then I said, "so what, did you know that the average human flatulates 18 times a day." 

Then was born my new nickname, Flatch.